I think I had a panic attack today.  I was just sitting in class, paying attention as much as I could, everything was normal and then I started to feel kind of sick and light headed, and then it got worse and I got really disoriented and my hearing started to go like I was in a tunnel and I felt like everything was rushing, like my heart and my brain and breathing and everything.  And my vision was all jumbled feeling, like it wasn't blurry, I could still see and everything but everything seemed extremely ... sharp.  I tried to breathe slowly and fairly deeply (but not so much that I would hypervenilate) because I thought I was going to pass out or throw up (or both!) and because I felt like I couldn't breathe... so by forcing myself to breathe slowly and deeply and as calmly as possible, I was making sure I continued to breathe. Everything was rushing, rushing, and I felt a tingling kind of sensation creep through my body and then I felt a cold sweat pouring out from me everywhere.  Then the rushing stopped and everything went back to "normal."  I was still a little light headed and I had sweat all over me.  It looked like I had been running or in very hot humid weather. 

I went to work and told them I was going to the nurse and i tried to tell her but she said she didn't think it was a panic attack since I didn't have a histroy of them and I didn't know of anyone in my family having a history of them. 

She told me my vital signs were all good.  Blood pressure was fine and everything.  Ultimately she decided that it was probably just stress. 

I still disagree.  I think there's more of a problem, but it could just be the stress because I am under an INCREDIBLE amount of stress right now (Alpha Psi, OOMITS, classes, play, Aaron, theatre stuff, 2 jobs, family stuff...)

So she advised me to get some lunch and talk with my parents.  I decided to kill two birds with one stone and went home for lunch and talked with my parents.

We decided as a starter, I should drop the Pizza Inn job.  So I turned in my 2 weeks notice today.  And we also decided I should drop the psychology major to just a minor.  So I haven't done that officially yet, but I'll get around to it.

If I need more stress removal I still can drop a class.

Aaron's friend suggested that I might try and get tested for hypoglycimia (sp?)  A lot of the symptoms do seem to be similar to symptoms I've had.  But then they're general kinds of things and you can't really decide from them.

Another thing I noticed was that some of the side effects of Allegra are similar to things that happened.  But I've taken Allegra for years.

However, I did notice something interesting.  It does say that it can alter mood and stuff.  I can't remember when my depression problems started and when I started taking Allegra but I really wonder if they're connected.

I just went to http://www.hypoglycemia.org/ and took the quiz they have on there and scored an 87 which is a pretty high risk for hypoglycemia.  It reccomends further testing.

But look at some of these symptoms:

fatigue insomnia mental confusion nervousness mood swings faintness headaches depression phobias heart palpitations

a craving for sweets cold hands and feet forgetfulness dizziness blurred vision inner trembling outbursts of temper sudden hunger allergies crying spells

OK, so a lof ot those things could be "normal" they happen to everyone now and then... big deal.

BUT, those who know me might notice a lot of those things in me... I dunno.  Maybe I'm just crazy or overly scared about this thing that happened earlier today...

Look at the symptoms for a panic attack:

and this story on a website:

Ann was watching television after a typical workday. She suddenly developed a peculiar and very strong feeling of being lightheaded and a smothering sensation as if there were no oxygen in the air she was breathing. Then a surge of pounding rapid heartbeat began. It came on so quickly and was so severe that she became panicked that she might be dying of a heart attack! Then she felt very shaky, sweaty, and unsteady. This whole experience reached peak intensity within 60 seconds. This was the eighth such attack this month.

then this is further down the page:

Panic attacks reach maximum intensity within a minute or two once they begin. They diminish slowly over the next 30 minutes or the next several hours. It is common for the first attack to cause a person to go to an emergency medical facility. Subsequent attacks occur several times a month and are often as severe as the initial attack.

About three fourths of Panic Disorder patients are women. Panic Disorder begins most often when people are 20-30 years old. It begins less often in teenagers or persons in their forties. It is uncommon for the disorder to appear in the elderly for the first time.

It is important to note that although a few experts say it is more common in persons who experienced a separation experience as a child, many of experts feel that Panic Disorder afflicts emotionally healthy people. Persons with Panic Disorder are no more likely than the average American to have suffered from emotional problems at the time the disorder begins.

The first major panic attack occurs. The person often seeks emergency medical evaluation at this time. The initial examination is commonly normal.

It says that depression medications are often used to treat panic disorder.  I'd already thought about depression medication some...  hmm...

I don't know.  I'm just throwing out ideas and basically trying to get something together.  it's crazy I know.

Anyway... that's what's happened to me today.

panic attack? Or something else? - Saturday, Sept. 04, 2004
Finally falling in love? - Saturday, Aug. 21, 2004
Sleepless, and I miss him - Friday, Aug. 20, 2004
Sometimes I scare myself - Wednesday, Aug. 18, 2004
Both girls likely leaving - Monday, Aug. 16, 2004